Was bored today, so I created "The Universe", with "Time" and "Space" and whatnot. Pretty cool, huh?

This Universe thing was kinda dark and boring, so I added  some "Galaxies" with "Stars" and "Planets" and "Moons" and stuff swirling around emitting light and various kinds of radiation and stuff. Awesome display! 

These Galaxies and Nebulas and Stars were fun for a while, but as usual I felt like tinkering. So I copied some of that atomic/solar stuff I call "Oxygen" and "Hydrogen" and "Nitrogen" to make this cool outer glow effect around some of the Planets. I call it an "Atmosphere". 

Then I mixed up some of the Oxygen and Hydrogen to make "Water", which is pretty great because it can recycle itself from a solid to a liquid or gaseous form, which creates all these pretty swirling effects and lots of motion. How cool is that?

Hmmm, there must have been a bug in my code somewhere. I went to make some flavandia, and when I came back there were all these weird arrangements of molecules (that I'm going to call "Microbes") on some of my Planets. They seem to be able to replicate by splitting themselves in half. Maybe some of that solar fusion code I copied didn't get modified right. I'm going over the code right now to fix it and recompile it. 

OK, everything is up and running again. After studying the code, I did find the bug. It was actually kinda cool. There was a buffer overflow in one of the fusion routines that causes the code to modify itself AND replicate. Serendipitous, in a way. 

I've decided it's not a bug, it's a feature. I call it "Life". I cleaned up the code a little and installed it in a patch. I'm going to let it run a while and see what happens.  

I was out in the shop tinkering around with these  new ideas called "Black Holes" and "Antimatter". When I got back I checked in on the Planets. Wow! Some of the microbes managed to get airborne into the Atmosphere and they've covered the Planets. 

It's pretty awesome how they get power just from from Light and soaking up molecular compounds from the ground. Impressive. And pretty. But they don't do anything, they just kinda sit there, planted in one spot. I think I'll call them "Plants". Heh. 

UPDATE: I was poking around in the Water pools (which I've decided to call "Oceans"), and it seems the microbes in there have progressed in a more interesting direction. They've developed apparatus that allow them to sense their environment. Sort of a primitive "Awareness" type thing. 

Some have developed appendages that let them roam about the Oceans. And here's the interesting part -- they consume the little green water microbes to get power. Not sure where that came from, but it's entertaining to watch. And pretty smart. Let the microbes do all the work converting energy and raw materials into nutrients, then exploit them. Anyway, it's fun to watch them chase around after the microbes, all animated. I think I'll call them "Animals". Heh heh.

Well, things are progressing nicely on the Planets with this "Life" thing. I was playing around with the self replicating code for these "Animals" and came up with an idea. 

I'm going to intervene and program them some sturdier frames and different kinds of appendages that will let them migrate from the Oceans out onto the ground (which I call "Land"). I'm going to modify their oxygen processing apparatus so it works in the Atmosphere, and I'm going to give them slightly bigger CPUs so they can adapt better. 

I think I'll call them "Dinosaurs". But, to make sure they don't replicate too quickly, I've come up with this idea for "Sex", which requires two different types (or "Sexes") of Animals to "mate" before they can replicate. 

I'm going to designate one of the planets as the laboratory for this experiment. I'm going to call it "Earth". It will be a fairly remote planet so I can isolate any mistakes and keep them from spreading to other planets. I'm going to install the mods later on this afternoon and see what happens.

Sheesh. Just checked in and the Dinosaurs  aren't adapting very well to Land. They're big, smelly, loud, and stupid. And they tromp all over the place consuming all the Plants, who don't have a fighting chance being stuck in one place and all. 

Some of them have developed this interesting and entertaining "microbe chasing" thing into an aggressive, even cannibalistic behavior that I've dubbed "Predator". All of them leave gigantic, smelly piles of waste materials all over the place, too. And apparently this Sex thing needs some work, because they are replicating like crazy. Not cool. 

I've decided to terminate these prototype Dinosaur objects and tweak the code a little. I'm going to trash the whole experiment by smashing a giant asteroid into the planet and then sterilize Earth by freezing it, which will suspend the Plant objects while I work on the Animal code some more. 

I'm thinking of programming them with self regulating thermostats and covering them with "Fur" to keep them warm because there will probably be a few lingering cold spots. I'm also going to enhance the "Predator" routines a little so a few more of them will consume each other to make it a little more sporting for the Plants. 

To help keep their number in check, I'm also going to tweak the Sex subroutines to make the "Females" less interested in "mating" so the "Males" will have to chase them down and compete with other "Males" to replicate. This should also help ensure that only the fastest and strongest ones replicate. 

I'm going to call this new version "Mammals", but I'll also keep some of the earlier, less destructive prototypes around for laughs.

Hmm. I'm not sure about this whole "Life" thing. It's total chaos and carnage down there. It seems like every little change just complicates things more and more. And now I've got this Uuphlangics thing over in the Seventh Dimension I have to go deal with. 

I think I'll make one more minor change before I go. I'm going to designate one of the new Mammal species as the Planet caretakers during my absence. I'm going to program them a slight appendage modification, called an "Opposable Thumb" and I'm going to boost their CPU capacity a little. 

With these enhancements, this species (which I've decided to call "Primates") will have dominion over the rest of the Planet so they can keep things under control while I'm gone. 

Oh, and blogging will be light for a few millennia until I get back from the Seventh Dimension. 

Well, I'm back. And this "Primate" thing doesn't seem to be working. All they do is swing around in the trees and jabber at each other and the other Animals. And they replicate like there's no tomorrow.  I'm thinking their CPUs were a little underpowered. 

So, I'm going to go ahead and boost their CPUs, and program a few other twists, like "Self Awareness" and "Reasoning" and "Free Will". I think I'll call them "Homo Sapiens", or just "Humans" for short.

The Humans are progressing much better than I expected. They are outperforming the Primates by orders of magnitude. They've invented "Language", discovered "fire", invented "transportation", and they've developed "agriculture". All kinds of cool stuff. They've even developed "Art" for their own amusement and entertainment, and "Literature" for their own edification. 

There are a couple of problems, though. The vestigial "Predator" routines and the "Sex" functions are interfering with their "Reasoning" algorithms. It's creating a lot of violence and conflict. I would just tweak that code some more, but it is so intricately entwined with the kernel and the "Free Will" and "Self Awareness" algorithms that it would probably just screw everything up worse. (Note to self: I should have invented Structured Coding and Object Inheritance and Polymorphism earlier in this project.)

I've decided to intervene in a new way that is compatible with Free Will but might conflict with the Reasoning modules a little (oh, well). I'm going to reveal myself to them, and give them some operating guidelines. Sort of like a "User Manual". 

I've picked one of the Humans at random to help with the project. It's some guy they call "Moses" who seems to have a pretty level head and a fair amount of influence with some of the more reasonable Humans. I've got this whole propaganda campaign lined up, that starts with some stunts and special effects like burning bushes that talk and other stuff designed to get his attention. Then I'm going to carve out the User Manual on some "stone tablets" (so the idiots won't lose them or erase them), to "lay down the law" so to speak. Then I'll give it to this Moses fellow to use for training the other Humans. 

I'll let you know how this works out. It should be interesting. 

Oh my, what a disaster. As they say on "Earth", what hath God wrought? 

First, this Moses guy goes all crazy and leads the reasonable people off into the desert. I guess my revelations were just too much for his underpowered CPU. It's created a real split between a bunch of Humans factions on Earth that I'm not sure can be repaired. 

Then, some carpenter's wife gets knocked up by a smooth talking pottery maker and tries to blame it on me. Claims she's a virgin, and the kid is mine and that I've sent him as some kind of ambassador or something. Then the kid goes around doing magic tricks and stuff and people start to believe him. 

This doesn't seem like such a bad thing, though, because he's a sharp kid and a pretty good philosopher. I like his style. So, I decide to stay out of it and let him work his shtick, hoping it might help. After all, like the rest of the Humans he is my creation, so I guess you could call him the Son of God. 

Trouble is, some Humans just start picking and choosing what parts of his philosophy (and my original operating guidelines) they want to believe. Then they use that as an  excuse to go around starting "Wars" and exterminating other Humans that don't agree with them. 

Meanwhile, to to top it off, some other clown who calls himself "Mohammed"  takes a cue from all this and he goes around claiming to be my "real" progeny and that this "Jesus" guy  was just a poseur. He starts more wars killing even more humans that don't believe in him. What a mess.

They went around writing revisionist histories of my original User Manual in an effort to explain my works and the meaning of the Universe. They call one of these more popular Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels the "Bible". It's fairly accurate in a primitive sort of way, but there sure are some odd interpretations of my work. And they've invented all these "demons" and "forces of darkness" and something called "evil" as an excuse for their ridiculous behavior. 

And wars continue to break out all over, and there are  insane "dictators" with  malfunctioning CPUs running around everywhere. These wars go on for centuries and eventually involve the entire planet. 

I even try to intervene one more time, by sneaking in during the middle of the night and messing around with these notes on some equations this "Einstein" fellow was working on. I slipped in just the tiniest of a little clue about how my solar/fusion/atomic stuff works, in hopes of putting him on the path to unlocking the secrets of my Universe. 

With this information, all Human needs would be met in perpetuity without any further intervention or help from me, kind of like an unlimited never-ending trust fund. And what do the idiots do with it? They use it to boil water and blow each other up. 

That was probably a big mistake. Now they think they are smarter than me. They've come up will all these stupid theories about how I don't exist and never did, and that all this Universe stuff just spontaneously sprang up out of nowhere and invented itself. 

They went and built these pathetic little "rockets" to try to propel themselves off my Earth and out into the rest of my Universe. They don't like my Earth creation? Not good enough for them? I don't get it. I've worked pretty hard to make a nice place for them, and now they've trashed it and want to leave. I'm pretty sure that I don't want them spreading like some kind of virus around the rest of my Universe, though.

And now they even think they've reverse engineered my "genetic code" (as they call it) and that they understand the "secret of life". Yeah, right. It's like handing an eighteen trillion line cytoplasm division subroutine to one of their little junior COBOL programmers and expecting him to find and fix the bug in the one line of code that caused it to mutate into cancer. 

I don't know about this whole "Life on Earth" thing and these silly, pathetic, ungrateful Humans. The other planets are doing quite nicely. All pretty and green, little microbes chasing each other around in the Oceans. Some of the ocean microbes have even developed into highly intelligent species similar to the "Dolphins" and "Whales" of Earth all on their own. Of course, they don't have these nasty, bloodthirsty Humans around to kill them all off. 

Maybe I should  have never started this whole "Earth" experiment in the first place. In fact, maybe it's time to terminate it before it gets any worse out of control. I'm going to go make myself a pot of flavandia and think about this some more.